someone please pass the remote control

Went to see my ear specialist this morning. Now I feel like my world has been invaded by that great entity called Sound. Hearing, the good ol' third sense - 'bout time I went and got it balanced out. Problem is, now all I really want is some sort of technological device for volume-adjustment. I mean, really - the soft sound of my feet as I walk across a carpeted floor, the now-enhanced jarring crash of my lunch dishes as I stack them on the counter next to the sink, the low dripping coming from the bathroom faucet that leaks, the beeping and hammering that signify on-going contruction at the neighbors' house next-door. Do I really need all those little, semi-annoying noises in my life? Or maybe they're all good things. I need a day or two to get used to this. And a volume button, too. Pass the remote already, yo.