Friday, February 07, 2003

so i'm kinda bitter right now cuz a friend and i made plans to have brunch or whatever together at Bakers Square this morning (HER idea, incidentally) and then she called me at the last possible minute, RIGHT when i was about to pull into the Bakers Square parking lot, to tell me she couldn't make it after all. I'm like, wtf man. I'm a very bitter child, yes i am, because flaky people really REALLY REEEEEALLYYYY do annoy me. *sigh* ok yaz, get the hell over it. lol. Self-pity is another thing that annoys me, so i try not to wallow too often. Good philosophy, yes? :-D But it's ok, cuz i was starving so i bought myself a yummy brownie...and guess what, it has M&Ms on it! Whoa! There are very few things in life, I believe, that can't be cured by chocolate. So yeah. :) Anywayz, it's probably a good thing we skipped out on Bakers Square anywayz, cuz the last time i went there (September), some random waiter boy who worked there told me, all straight-faced, that I was "the finest Pakistani girl he'd ever met." Umm lie. So it gets even weirder, cuz at the end, when we were leaving, right when my friend and I turned around to walk out, he called out to me, “I really wish I could see your hair.” And you know me, I can hold in the laughter for only so long (which is NOT LONG at all), so I started cracking up, and I was like, “Sorry, buddy, but even my friend here has never seen my hair, ok?” I turned around then and kept walking, and I swear I could feel that fool’s eyes boring into my back the entire time it took me to get to the door. It was hella weird. Once out the door, my friend and I just collapsed in laughter. I was like, “So I wonder just exactly how many Pakistani girls he HAS met?” hahaha. Whatever though. But yeah, it was majorly weird, and I keep having this paranoid feeling that I'll run into him if I go back to Bakers Square, so i've been missing out on the YUMMY chocolate cream pies since last fall. *siiiiigh* :-( Honestly, that's a major sacrifice for me.

You know what, since we’re on the subject (or i am anywayz), I’m getting all aggravated with the whole guy issue these days. I was complaining to a friend once, “I don’t know what the hell it is… Either I’ve become less oblivious over the past year, or guys have become way more obvious.” And she was like, “Yaz, I hate to tell you, but you’ve become less oblivious.” So I was like, Just wonderful. So I dunno. Whatever though. Maybe someday I’ll get over getting checked out or hit on everywhere I go. It’s hella weird though…I’m like, Geeeez, should I get rid of the hijab and bust out with the NIQAAB now, or what?? Cuz the hijab doesn’t seem to be doin jack these days. Unfortunately, I lack the imaan and discipline to implement the niqaab right now though. *sigh* :-p

Those of you who don't know me are probably reading this and thinking i'm such a shallow and self-centered person. Well it's MY blog! j/k, j/k. Actually, it IS my blog...and the reason i initially started this was so it'd be a means of venting and ranting and raving for me. Sometimes i'll write as if i'm talking to myself, and sometimes as if it's aimed at a general audience, which would be YOU, whoever you are...and stuff will probably be majorly raw and personal...and i'm sure i'll read it later and wince, because i'm very conscious of the fact that this is a public blog. I don't mind that it's public either. For all those you who have been visiting...I'm majorly flattered, and want to thank you for the awesome comments and feedback. But my point is that i'm still in the process of learning about religion and the world and people...and mostly still getting to know MYSELF. So bear with me, y'all, and try to put up with my psychotic stories.

And just for the record, so you're not getting the wrong impression from my weird posts...i may sometimes find the whole getting-hit-on-by-random-guys deal amusing, but i don't appreciate it, and i DEFINITELY don't encourage it. Laughing at it is just my personal way of dealing with it and moving on, because being annoyed or frustrated about it doesn't help much. So analyze that. And refer to my post down there somewhere about guys being a no-no and unnecessary drama right now. Sometimes i'll find the whole thing hilarious, but most likely i'll be aggravated, and if i post my random stories up here, it's not to make y'all think i'm a vain and shallow person, but rather just so i can vent about it and get it all out of my system. ok? ok. Just wanted to make sure y'all understood that.

Now that we've gotten everything all clear...i gotta go print out my resume and work on a personal statement for an internship application. More on that later, if i do get it, insha'Allah. ;)