Tuesday, September 02, 2003

i should write one of these

Yes, I’ve been busy sleeping my life away lately, and yes, my comments link is on crack. But it’s okay. We can deal, right? Here, read this…something I found off a cool website. A beautiful piece of writing that I wanted to share, and I have been granted kind permission to do so.

“Letter to God,” by Javed Memon, from www.hijabman.com:
Assalamu alaikum God. Ha, not that you need the peace, you already have infinite amounts. And a sense of humor that I probably couldn't even comprehend.

Its about 2 am, Thursday night… there should be a lunar eclipse tonight. Unfortunately I can't see it from my balcony anymore. The room is warm, the fan made this clicking sound… I turned it off. The room is warm, like I said, enough to make me feel like I need a cold shower-- you know, where I just feel sticky all over.

I'm hungry, but not enough to warrant eating anything but some chocolate. Perhaps I'll make some iced Turkish-apple-tea. That would definitely hit the spot, more so than this orange powder drink crap.

I just wanted to say thank you. Most of all, I would like to thank you for my ability to feel your presence. The feeling that I describe as the wind chimes... the feeling I talk and write about so much that people make fun of me for it. I still don't feel like I've done it justice. The cool wind chimes tingling all through out my body, reminding me of my soul's urge to return back to you after this is all over. The feeling of cold ginger ale being poured inside my body, reminding me of what I need to do in this life. That one feeling is the culmination.. that one sixth sense.. is where all of my emotions find their base.. or at least until my environment, or my own intellect twists them around.. I do admit that it happens at times.

I also wanted to say thank you for the people you have allowed me to meet in the past, in the present, and in the future. They will have all touched me in ways I cannot even begin to describe. From the one or two instant messages that people label as insignificant, to the all-night conversations about life. The man who sells me fuul and ta'amiya, the woman at the kushari place on Muhammad mahmoud street, [oh, there is that feeling…. Mmmm], the people who smile at me, who share with me parts of their life.. they are all there.. reminding me of You.

And my brain. And my circumstances, and the resources available at my disposal, and the music that inspires, and my ability to dance [even though it may not be pretty] to release all of this energy I have sometimes. And for the message. The simple, easy to understand message that blows my mind because it’s so simple. How I wish more of my fellow people realized its wisdom.

Haahahaha, and that feeling I get when I have my legs up like this while I'm typing up a letter…. The pins and needles.. letting me know that I need to unclamp my blood vessels and feed the cells down at the tips of my toes.

Oh God, help me and strengthen me---to be one of your beloved servants. I will begin to strive. I want to strive. I have been striving, but not nearly as hard as I should be. Please, continue to give me reminders. I know sometimes I can be a fool, and love what is not the best for me. But I know I am changing, and I know I can change more. And if You will, I will change the world.

So much more than Love [this aching in my chest can't just be love],
Javed

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