Wednesday, March 05, 2003

Oh man, I'm soooo exhausted. I was on campus til late in the evening last night, working on a paper in one of the computer labs. When 9:30 hit, i figured it was about time to head home, even though I wasn't done yet. Oh, the joy of walking halfway across campus to your car, and then driving 60 miles home when you're half asleep. :-p It was funny though, cuz I decided to call home when I left the lab to let the family know I was on my way, and my dad answered the phone, so I was all talking to him and letting him know I was walking to my car. And he was all, "How far is your car?" I was like, "Not too far, don't worry." So we kept talking, and he was telling me about the walkout in the Washington state House of Representatives as an Imam was giving the customary opening prayer (read about it on CAIR's website here and straight from the Seattle Post-Intelligencer here). People are so ignorant these days, it's majorly sad... "My god is not Muhammad," she says. Helllooo! Neither is mine! People should get their facts straight before they make bungled attempts at justifying their actions.

But anywayz, I was walking to my car, right? It was crazy dark out there. What i want to know is, why is our football field lit up like bright daylight, yet the regular lighting all across campus is so dim? The university needs to get its priorities straight, for reals. Some guy and girl called out my name and waved from across the street, but i have nooo idea who they were cuz it was all dark. haha. Ah wells. I was busy talking to my dad, plus i'm an oblivious child anywayz, so i have excuses. I waved back though. :) So yeah, i finally did make it to my car. "Did you know it took you TEN MINUTES to walk all the way to your car??" said my dad very sternly. "Don't you ever park that far again if you're going to be staying on campus til this late!" It was actually twelve minutes, but i figured he wouldn't want to know that, so i suppressed a smile and answered in my meekest voice possible, "Yes, Daddy." hahaha. I love my parents; did i ever say that? They're absolutely amazing.

I'm running on about 4 hours of sleep from last night, and I haven't gotten a full night's sleep since the weekend, so i'm like in zombie mode. Crazy. This morning, i was sooo tiredddd. Plus, i hadn't finished my paper even by the time i left home, so i was very bitter indeed. Usually i don't mind commuting to school at all, and I can laugh it off pretty well, but i get stressed out to the max anyway when midterm and final exam time comes around, and that's when i really do get annoyed about commuting, because it means i spend a precious two hours a day in my car when i could use that to study instead. So this morning I was driving, and annoyed at myself at having still not completed my paper, so all those little voices in my head were like, "Dammit, dammit, dammit..." Finally, I turned on the radio and blasted some rock as a means of getting rid of that litany in my head. And when i say "blasted," i do mean BLASTED. And now i've had a headache all day too. It was either the rock or the lack of sleep. Or---and i just realized this; how sad is that??---the fact that i haven't eaten a real meal since, ummm, Monday night's dinner. Omg. I guess all of the above would be a good answer then. Crazy combo. Not funny either.

Anywayz, since i have finals in less than two weeks and i'm kicking myself for slacking off on studying, and since this post seems so pointless so far, here's something good to think about:

Imam al-Ghazali (may God's mercy be upon him) wrote in his book "The Beginning of Guidance":

You should not neglect your time or use it haphazardly; on the contrary you should bring yourself to account, structure your litanies and other practices during each day and night, and assign to each period a fixed and specific function. This is how to bring out the spiritual blessing (baraka) in each period. But if you leave yourself adrift, aimlessly wandering as cattle do, not knowing how to occupy yourself at every moment, your time will be lost. It is nothing other than your life, and your life is the capital that you make use of to reach perpetual felicity in the proximity of God the Exalted. Each of your breaths is a priceless jewel, since each of them is irreplaceable and, once gone, can never be retrieved. Do not be like the deceived fools who are joyous because each day their wealth increases while their life shortens. What good is an increase in wealth when life grows ever shorter? Therefore be joyous only for an increase in knowledge or in good works, for they are your two companions who will accompany you in your grave when your family, wealth, children, and friends stay behind.

fi aman'Allah